Top Human was born from necessity. Afterall…they say necessity is the mother of invention.
It was 2018, and my life was trending in a bad bad way. On the outside, things probably looked great. I was in Medellin, Colombia, in my mind 20’s. I had a 6-figure tech job as I was traveling the world as a digital nomad. A new country or city every month…I was living a life many people would dream of. All before COVID and the popularization of remote work.
But on the inside it was a very different story. Even though I was surrounded by like-minded people…I still felt incredibly lonely inside. The stress my body onboarded after my dad’s brain-cancer diagnosis and 4 months of treatment that I stuck around for was indescribable. Little did I know I would still carry this stress and tension even years later. I was heartbroken…and I was quickly realizing I had cripplingly low self esteem and self confidence. The antibiotics I took in Mexico had destroyed all the beneficial gut flora I had. (For anyone who’s been on a gut-healing journey, you know the subtle-yet-powerful effects that has on your overall wellbeing.)
Somewhere in there I began to stutter. My mind could not stop racing. Sleep was challenging, and relationships were hard because I wasn’t sure where I fit in in life.
And on top of all that…all that stress I was carrying…it manifested physically in my body. It was this stingy, sludgy, toxic feeling in my chest. Every hour of every day…it was there.
It was hell. Something needed to change. I didn’t know what.
Why Conventional Wisdom Failed to Solve an Energy Problem
I was doing everything I was “supposed to” be doing to get better (according to western and conventional wisdom): I was in talk therapy… meditating… exercising, walking, even salsa dancing regularly. I was spending time outside around people, in community…taking time away from work to explore the countries I was in. (South America has some beauuuuutiful landscapes by the way if you ever get the chance to go). I was eating fresh, healthy, non-processed foods… reading self-help books, watching self-help YouTube videos.
Eventually I decided that I was mentally declining too fast (and physically too thanks to those dang antibiotics…). So I was going to stop traveling so that I could focus on my mental and physical health without constantly being on the move. (This is what they call “lifestyle change”.) So I moved to Puerto Rico. Puerto Rico was going to be my sanctuary…it’s an island after all! Sounds great right? A place I could calm down, my nervous system could begin to regulate. Somewhere I could take long walks on the beach. (Little did I know that this move would actually make things worse, as I was exposed to mold from day 1 in PR. That though, is for another story…)
There is a much deeper issue that all the other things missed. Its that you can’t think, talk, or exercise your way out of a deeper energy problem. But I didn’t know that yet.
What I did know was that what I was doing wasn’t working. All the “right things” weren’t moving the needle. Coming from a background of logic, and cause-and-effect physics etc…I knew that when you leverage the right tool, there should be a noticeable change pretty quickly…no matter how small. And that wasn’t happening.
The Insight: Stress Isn’t a Mindset, It’s a Personality Trait
So I decided to take matters into my own hands. Or rather, into my own head. Out of all the videos I had watched on YouTube, one stood out to me the most. It was one of Dr Joe Dispenza’s talks about how humans can experience some undesirable event, be in a mood about it for a week. Then that mood can turn into a months-long temperament, which can eventually turn into a full blown personality trait. His research and story of how he changed his own life was so inspiring that I knew there was something I could do to pull myself out of this rut (well, it was more like a deep dark pit) even if I didn’t know what it was.
I knew that the toxic sludge feeling in my chest wasn’t a mindset issue. It was stored stress…something that had become a “personality trait”, a more engrained part of me. And I just needed to figure out how to let it go.
The DIY Search for a Practical, On-Demand “How-To”
I went to work to fix myself, every day. Multiple times a day. Afterall, I was living on an island, had just quit my job and started part-time contract work, so I had the time. (And I HAD to do this…I HAD to figure this out.) I didn’t know what I was looking for, what tool, what solution, All I knew was there was something I could do about it, and man I was going to find it.
I kept learning and trying other “alternative” approaches to clearing these buried and trapped emotions. Specifically, I was looking for PRACTICAL “how to’s”, exercises that I could implement on my own, anytime. Side note: there are a TON of self-help resources out there…and honestly most of them are just the same old stuff just re-written by another person…not much novelty. But, in all my research and experimenting, I was finally finding something that made sense.
What Finally Worked
- I had learned from Dr Joe Dispenza the power of the mind, and how to manipulate my awareness and direct it to different areas within my own body.
- I had learned from Teal Swan, a spiritual guide, how to dive deeper into yourself when you’re feeling something so that you can get to the root of it and better understand it.
- And I had learned from Hilary Jacobs Hendel that “its not always depression”, and how to allow what’s going on inside of you to “play out” so that it can be unlocked.
Long story short…putting together these ideas made one very important shift happen one day. Sitting in my chair next to my bed, where I had meditated so many times before…something different happened. This day, I actually felt some of that toxic feeling dissolve. It fizzled out. What was once dense and heavy and sticky…became light and airy and energizing. I didn’t feel that feeling for the rest of the day.
So I went back the next day, and did it again. Then the next day. And the next day.
That heavy, toxic sludge feeling…it didn’t come back for a day. Then for a week. And then for a month…and then…
Emptying the Tank: Discovering the Cure for ‘Energetic Rust’
For the first time in years, my chest felt lighter. And it stayed that way.
The toxic sludge has dissipated. The mental noise went quiet on its own. I had figured out something to not just cope with or manage the chronic, toxic, stress…I had actually emptied its tank directly.
I didn’t really know what I was doing…or why it worked. But I could sit down and call upon it on demand, and “clean” my internal system. Which made me realize…our bodies build up a kind of “energetic rust” internally. And cleaning it regularly is very, very good for us!
From that point on I was in maintenance mode…or so I thought. Until I started diving even deeper to see what else was possible with my new found skill. Turns out, there’s always something more to work on. Beyond just that toxic sludge feeling…I started to work on and heal my limiting beliefs, old emotional habits and attachments that were no longer serving me. I started realizing my general stress and anxiety levels were down, my unhelpful reactions were down. Basically…all my “negative energy” that caused any kind of undesirable internal state was just dissolving. Little by little…every day.
From Toxic Sludge to Total Life Transformation
Ok yea so that’s all fine and dandy…but where does that leave me now?
When I started this process, it was 2019. Since then, I had doubled my income, left a living situation that seemed nice on the outside but was not great on the inside, moved to a place I finally began to call home, bought my first house, processed my dad’s passing calmly and without breaking down, started a business I’m passionate about, started healing myself from other biological issues I was having…and much much more. I’ve even worked on healing the emotional habits that keep me stuck in a broken heart.
One week I was at a casual business conference in Mexico. And there was this one attendee…this woman who I was just falling for so quickly. It wasn’t love…it was like an obsession…I was triggered again…it was like an emotional addiction. It was unhealthy…very one-way and toxic. The feeling I had in my heart was all too familiar…and I knew if I let it just hang around it would drag me down. So, I went to work.
I sat down on my bed one afternoon, and started to work on my energy. And little by little I released all that heavy, sticky, toxic energy my heart was holding onto. After less than an hour it was gone. Just like that. I was feeling better. I didn’t have the thoughts that were bringing me down anymore. It was pretty incredible. That feeling would have negatively affected me for weeks in the past!
Looking Back Now Years Later
This journey – from feeling the weight of a hell that no one else could see, to finding a practical on-demand way to “clean” my internal system – is the foundation of Top Hūman. I learned that there is a direct path to clearing out the negative things we feel day to day…month to month…and year to year. I leaned that energy is the foundation of everything AND that its something we can directly interact with. And…I discovered that there is more.
There is more than just clearing our own energy. There is more than just simple stress removal and releasing the emotions tied to our undesirable thoughts and behaviors. I’m on a mission to find the most effective, direct, practical tools…and master them so that we can grow together into who we were meant to be. I found my deep desire to teach these tools to people and there is so much more to come.
For now…if this resonates with you and you want to start learning the self-work to destress, clear blocks, and start creating your best life…book a call with me and let’s discuss the Mindworx method. And if you happen to live near me, and want a next-level done-for-you approach to all this…book a call and ask me about Tablework. It still surprises me, and I believe it is the future of healing.
You were made for more. Its time to be better, do what’s needed, and have the life of our dreams.