Externally, you check every single box of success. You have the revenue, you have the clients, and you have the lifestyle that people scroll past on Instagram and quietly envy. But internally… things look a lot different. Internally, your thoughts are a constant, looping barrage telling you that you aren’t doing enough, that you need to push harder, and that the foundation you’ve built might crumble if you take a single day off.
We often think that success will quiet that voice. But what if the way we built that success is actually what’s making the voice so loud?
Recently on the Top Human podcast, I sat down with Arden Schiller. Arden is an incredibly dynamic business coach who, at just 23 years old, grew a multiple six-figure fitness company. She had the clients, the money, and the team.
But behind the scenes, she realized she absolutely hated the business she had built… and the person she had to become to run it.
Her story is a powerful reminder that true embodiment isn’t just about changing your actions; it’s about changing your thoughts. If your external business is chaotic and constantly grinding, it’s a pretty safe bet that your internal world is operating from a place of dysregulation.
Here is Arden’s journey of burning it all down, healing the hustle, and discovering how to actually own your business instead of letting your business own you.
Sabotaging a $60K Month (The Awakening)
In the entrepreneurial space, we are taught to chase the highest revenue months possible. And in July of 2021, Arden hit that milestone. It was a $60,000 cash month for her fitness company. It should have been a moment of massive celebration.
Instead, it became the catalyst that broke the system.
“I actually don’t remember that month at all,” Arden shared. “I did over 140 hours of Zoom sales calls in July. I was supposed to go on vacation with my significant other’s family, and I decided not to go because business was doing really well. I figured if we went, I’d just be doing sales calls the whole time anyway.”
Tragically, just a few months later, her significant other’s mother passed away suddenly. That vacation would have been one of the last moments she could have spent with her.
That was the massive, jarring eye-opener. The external world was perfect, but the internal alignment was completely shattered. She was using high-pressure sales tactics that felt sleazy, pulling in clients who didn’t want to do the work, and letting the business completely consume her life.
She realized she couldn’t even teach other people how to grow a business, because she hated the way she was running her own.
So, in December 2021, she did the unthinkable. She fired her assistant coaches…fired dozens of clients. She essentially sabotaged her own six-figure company to rebuild it from a place of true alignment, and chose to let go of the dysregulated hustle so she could actually get her life back.
The Three Myths of the “Grind” Culture
When we feel stuck or when revenue dips, the common advice in the business world is to simply “put in more reps.” We are told to wake up earlier, send more messages, and push through the friction.
But as Arden brilliantly pointed out, it isn’t about putting in more reps… it is about putting in the right reps.
If you go into the gym and do 3 sets of 60 bicep curls with terrible form, your muscle isn’t going to grow. You are just going to exhaust and injure yourself. But if you do 3 sets of 15 with perfect form, get eight hours of sleep, and eat your protein… the muscle grows smoothly. The same natural laws apply to our energy in business.
There are three common “grind” myths that keep entrepreneurs trapped in that exhausting, ineffective cycle:
- Myth 1: DMing Everyone: We are often taught to cold-DM our followers, Facebook friends, and strangers to strike up conversations. It is a volume game that quickly leads to burnout and creates completely inauthentic connections.
- Myth 2: Leaving Long Comments: Trying to “hack” the algorithm by leaving massive, essay-length comments on larger influencers’ posts just to be seen. It’s a massive drain on your daily capacity.
- Myth 3: Posting 3x a Day: The illusion that simply outputting more content will somehow equal more impact.
These tactics keep us distracted with busy work. They keep us separated from our authentic voice because we are too busy trying to manipulate a system rather than just standing firmly in who we are.
The Snapback Rate: How to Actually Market as Yourself
If we let go of the exhausting, volume-based tactics, what is the alternative? How do we actually attract the right people to us?
We have to unapologetically market as ourselves.
To do this, Arden explains that you have to find your “black and white.” You have to figure out what you believe in so deeply that absolutely no one can change your mind. When you are that certain about your philosophy, it naturally draws people to you. People are desperate for leaders who are grounded and certain in a very noisy, chaotic world.
But finding that certainty isn’t always easy. For so many of us, our parents or our society never really mirrored back to us who we truly were. We were kind of left to figure it out on our own. This is where finding a true mentor becomes invaluable. A great mentor doesn’t just hand you a business strategy… they hold up a mirror. They listen to you speak, catch the moments where you are most alive and certain, and point to it, saying, “That right there… that is who you are.”
Even when you find that authentic core, imposter syndrome will still creep in. You will still have days where you question everything.
Arden introduced a beautiful concept here called The Snapback Rate. The goal isn’t to reach some enlightened state where you never doubt yourself again. Just like in meditation, the goal isn’t to never let your mind wander… the goal is to gently bring your focus back the moment you realize you’ve drifted. Your “Snapback Rate” is simply how quickly you can catch yourself falling out of alignment and return to your authentic center.
Every time you bring yourself back, the snapback gets a little bit faster, and the depth of your authenticity gets a little bit deeper.
Healing the “Wounded Masculine” in Business
One of the most fascinating concepts we explored in the interview was the balance of masculine and feminine energy in how we operate our daily lives.
To build an empire, you need healthy masculine energy. This is the energy of structure, routine, and aligned action. It is waking up, checking off the list, and moving the needle forward. But true flow requires that we balance that action with feminine energy… the energy of receiving, trusting, flowing, and surrendering.
The problem is that so many entrepreneurs are operating from a Wounded Masculine state.
When you have a wounded masculine energy, you never actually trust that the actions you’ve taken are enough. You don’t feel a sense of safety and security in your own work. Because you don’t trust the foundation, you can never shift into the feminine state to rest, receive, or just be present. You just keep doing, and doing, and doing… even when it actively harms you.
When you heal this dynamic, the friction disappears.
You can take aligned action in the morning, and then fully surrender in the afternoon. Why not travel to Florida, ride a jet ski, and close a $10,000 deal while laying on the beach…not because you are frantically working from your phone, but because your energy is finally clear. You are authentically embodying the exact lifestyle you preach, and your clients can feel that congruence.
The Spiritual Journey of Entrepreneurship
At the end of the day, entrepreneurship is really just a spiritual journey in disguise. Your business, your impact, and your revenue will only ever grow to the extent that you are willing to grow yourself.
When the internal world is chaotic, the external business will eventually reflect that chaos.
Arden defined being a “Top Human” in a way that perfectly encapsulates this entire philosophy. She said it is about having an inner knowing… a deep, unshakeable peace with exactly who you are and where you are at. It is the ability to be genuinely happy and completely solid in this exact moment, while still peacefully stepping into the highest version of yourself tomorrow.
If you are feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or resentful of the life you’ve built, it might be time to stop looking for a new marketing strategy. It might be time to stop doing more reps, and start doing the inner work to bring your nervous system back into alignment.
When you heal the hustle and step unapologetically into who you are, the business doesn’t just get easier… life actually becomes yours again.